Living and Loving as an Introvert

dorkymum

good advice

*stands up*

*shuffles nervously*

*clears throat*

Hello. My name’s Ruth and I am an introvert.

Would you believe that it has taken me 31 years to say that?

Most of those years have been taken up with saying other things. No, I’m not anti-social. No, I’m not shy. No, it’s not that I hate people, or that I hate you, or that I’m a badly brought up Awkward Annie.

I’m just an introvert.

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The Advantages of Having Depression

A Manic World

Author: Humans Are Weird

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Depression isn’t a thing that people ever yearn for, or wish to acquire.

Those who experience this malevolent juggernaut of a psychosis don’t have “depression appreciation” days. We don’t congregate in throngs to throw our sad hands up in the air and praise depression’s forlorn overlord.

Nope. Depression’s the sort of thing that people usually despise. It’s an emotion, a train of thought, a feeling – a self-destructive entity living inside of us – that we, the Depressos, wish would leave us alone, and never return.

It’s abusive. It makes us hurt. It makes us cry. It tells us that we’re worthless. It smells funny. And ultimately, its happiness is contingent on our misery.

But today, I thought I’d do something a little bit different. Instead of poo-pooing depression, and all that it encompasses, I thought I’d outline the benefits that live inside of depression’s hapless…

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Loneliness And Social Anxiety

The Me in someone else.

Adventuring With Anxiety

Edit: I’d like to thank everyone who has commented so far, and apologize for the fact that it took me this long to respond. I had no idea I was Freshly Pressed, and as I’d only received about 5 page views, 2 likes,  and  no comments in the several days I checked my stats, I never expected so many comments to get jammed up in the moderation queue.  

It occurred to me the other day that it’s been about 7 years since I’ve had someone in my life that I could hang out with, and 9 years since I’ve had a close friend. How does time get away from you like that? I can’t quite explain it, except that in my depression I’ve learned to ignore the big picture in order to survive day to day life. I tell myself Tuesday was ok because my manager talked to me…

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True Friend

Yesterday, bored with the regular channels i switched to KBS. Whenever i’m bored with same old programs on the local channels I automatically switch to this Korean Channel.

I’ve been curious with Koreans these days. I’m not into K-pop though but with Cha Tae-Hyun and Joo Won. They have completely opposite personality but they are my ideal men.

Anyways, as i said, yesterday as i watch this show “Human Condition”. They were given a task to find how many true friends they have. As i was watching them think of their friends i was also thingking how many true friends i have. I have 1 or 2 friends i think but lately i haven’t talk to them. Busy with our own personal life. Me, with work and them with their families.

I’m not the kind of person who invest on friends. I focused so much on how i’m going to keep this life running even if i don’t like it, i just have to. I can’t do anything about it.

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Strikes Again!

Depression strikes again. Im getting fed up with this emotion i can’t control. I wanted to cry and shout but i don’t have the luxury to do that because i am in a room with people who don’t know what i’m going through. I can’t open up with friends, with family because they’re not used to people who’s life is full of drama.

I miss my parents. I wish they’re here. I didn’t experience having my mother beside me. I want to have a mother!! I miss you soooo much!!

I don’t have friends! I don’t have family! Life is hard! People are mean! I hate my life!!

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information to re-read

Landless Drifter

It was my last week at work and I got the chance to join my colleagues in a plant visit in Laguna. This generation company we are trading for consists of 3 main hydroelectric power plants: Caliraya, Botocan and Kalayaan, all located in the province of Laguna. Plant inspections, meeting with personnel and presentations packed our 2-day itinerary.

It was a 4-hour land journey from Quezon City to Kalayaan, Laguna. We rented a van that accommodated all 14 of us. Check out our land route below c/o Google Maps.

The first time I went to the area was way back 1997, 15 years ago. We camped around the Caliraya Lake at that time. 10 years after, together with my classmates at the university, I visited the old towns of Laguna. Yes, I’m getting old, like the rest of the world ^_^. And speaking of old age, these power plants we visited had…

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Kalayaan at Pag-ibig

Habang nagtetrek kami sa Bulusan Lake, binati namin ng “Dios Marhay na Aga (Magandang umaga)” ang mag-inang namimingwit sa gilid ng Lake..  pero nagulat kami nang isang Lola ang masiglang nag-reply ng “Dios Marhay na Aga man.. (Magandang umaga rin..)”, di ko kasi alam kung san galing yung boses.. Aha! At andun pala siya sa isang sulok malapit lang sa amin, naka camouflage.. Natuwa naman kami sa masayahing Lola na ito kaya’t kinausap namin siya saglit..

Kami : “Lola, nag-ano po kamo dun? (Lola, ano pong ginagawa nyo diyan?)”

Lola : “Nagbabanwit pasayan.. (Namimingwit ng sugpo..)”

Kami : “Wow! Talaga! May pasayan man dun? May dakop na po kamo? (May sugpo diyan? May nahuli na po kayo?)”

Lola : “Aw, may-on naman diyo.. primero ko ngani na pagkanhi dini.. (Ah, meron din namang konti.. First time ko pa nga lang dito eh..)

Kami…

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